Viota Poster!

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE : Another review! This time in The F Word… a feminist magazine… They didn’t completely hate it… :

http://www.thefword.org.uk/reviews/2013/04/echoes_of_virginia?fb_action_ids=10151411332568602&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_source=timeline_og&action_object_map=%7B%2210151411332568602%22%3A508410749223156%7D&action_type_map=%7B%2210151411332568602%22%3A%22og.recommends%22%7D&action_ref_map=%5B%5D

UPDATE UPDATE : We got a slightly stinky review in The Herald… It’s still three stars and not exactly unfair… but I’m going to pout anyway… :

http://www.heraldscotland.com/arts-ents/stage/viota-tron-theatre-glasgow.20706301?fb_action_ids=10151395756488602&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582

UPDATE : We got a good review in the Scotsman… I’ve been moaning that I did more than refine the script (it wasn’t THAT devised)… but naturally if the review truly stank I’d be pretending I’d only written one or two lines. Which were cut.

http://www.scotsman.com/the-scotsman/scotland/theatre-review-viota-glasgow-tron-1-2876181?fb_action_ids=10151394173103602&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582

Here’s the poster for my play Viota :

VIOTA

you can buy tickets here : http://www.tron.co.uk/event/viota/

Leave a Comment

Filed under Theatre, Writing

Viota!

The Viota cast : our 2nd Vikki! Jennifer Byrne, Frankie MacEachen, and Erica Kate O'Neill

The Viota cast : our 2nd Vikki! Jennifer Byrne, Frankie MacEachen, and Erica Kate O’Neill

I’ve written the script for a play that’s on at The Tron in Glasgow from Wednesday 3rd of April to Saturday 6th of April 2013 called Viota.

It was devised by the cast but all the convoluted vulgarity is my fault. It’s about three women sharing a flat in London in 1969. Its Patron Saint is Virginia Woolf, and ‘Viota’ is a fantasy country invented by one of the lead characters, the wounded, closeted, magnificent Vivian Forrester played by Frankie MacEachen. There’s the politically earnest student Ursula played by Erica Kate O’Neill and confused tabloid hack, Vikki, played by Sophia Porter, with her ambitious fiancé played by Derek Banner, and Vivian’s eccentric Aunt is played by Maria McCormack. A fabulous cast directed by Iain McAleese under the umbrella of Theatre Revolution.

It’s a good laugh… and very poignant towards the end.

Come and see it!!!

The Tron Theatre, Glasgow

The Tron Theatre, Glasgow

Leave a Comment

Filed under Theatre, Writing

Book Reviews!

magic cottage

The Magic Cottage by James Herbert

I’ve only just finished this book, so I was sad to hear of his death. 1980s blockbusters are not my thing, so he passed me by before. It’s sold as a horror but it’s more like a nice chat mixed with a dream-based-on-a-movie. The hero is a session musician and the heroine is a children’s book illustrator. They move into a cottage in the middle-of-nowhere, which used to be owned by a witch, and which is being eyed-up by the local American religious cult. Almost nothing happens. When it does happen it’s like outtakes from ‘Willow‘ or ‘Krull’ or ‘Poltergeist‘ or some other Hollywood fantasy/horror/sci-fi. There’s a cute little squirrel and some horrid bats. I should hate every syllable, but I warmed to it. Its strength is to explore the exact aspirations, hopes, dreams, fears of a moderately successful post-war child as he progresses from playing on bomb sites, to replacing his vinyl collection with CDs. The hero loves Phil Collins, and is good natured about his wife’s butch agent. Mixing details of real life, with details of popular culture is as skilled as anything a literary writer could achieve. It captures a sensibility in time. As a chiller it fails, but as a novel, it’s important.

Ice In The Bedroom by P.G. Wodehouse

I don’t think P.G. has ever written a bad book. The ingredients may wear a little thin on occasion, but his turn of phrase never fails him. He perfectly mixes low-life with sunny suburbia in this tale of romance and stolen diamonds. His England is accessibly American, like Blondie and Dagwood in Dulwich. It’s one of his later works - without Jeeves or Psmith – and you can almost picture the women with beehives and the men with slightly longer hair. Everyman has published this in a lovely small hardback edition with a muted, ugly-beautiful, cover.

ice-in-bedroom-p-g-wodehouse-hardcover-cover-art

I Am Half Sick of Shadows by Alan Bradley

A murder mystery set in 1950s England solved by 11 year old super-sleuth Flavia de Luce. It’s a mix of Agatha Christie and Noel Streatfeild; it even starts with Flavia dreaming of ice-skating success, much like White Boots. It’s not a kid’s book and not an adult’s, but its hinterland humour works. It clearly loves this world of cosy violence and country houses. The mystery is under-developed. There’s no sense that it has to be solved. There’s no suspense; only a sweetly nostalgic atmosphere. It’s a new series, perfect for holidays (Christmas or Summer).

shadows

The Nine Tailors by Dorothy L. Sayers

It’s got bell ringing. Lots and lots and lots of bell ringing. And some pretty descriptions. Mostly of bell ringing. It’s got the nicest, nicest, nicest detective in the world. With the most loyal side-kick in the world since Watson. But better than Watson, because he’s from the lower orders, and does the driving. It’s got a bright young aspiring author who gets some solid advice that real writers need. It’s got a half decent story that occasionally gets a look-in when they take time off from the bell ringing. Sometimes I prayed for death, but I made it to the last chapter. Just.

the nine tailors

Leave a Comment

Filed under Writing

Cargo! By Cormac Quinn

A friend of mine has a new play on in Glasgow – I’ve seen the rehearsals & it’s good! It’s a thriller with existential overtones & probably a blood capsule or two. Here is the flyer & blurb :

cargoaprilflyer

CARGO

Written by Cormac Quinn and Directed by Andy Corelli

Presented by Fiendish Plot Theatre

“Some things you shouldn’t open…”

A briefcase sits on a table in a fast food restaurant, next to Tony and Sol. He’s got it. She wants it. Is she who she says she is? Is he? Both want answers. What’s inside? Love? Life? Pigeons? Or maybe the end of the world?

Tommy works nights in a dockside warehouse and worries about the coming apocalypse, much to Natalie’s amusement. She is expecting their first child and has more practical concerns, including ensuring Tommy gets sandwiches for his shift. But a container is open, and the couple attract the attention of another man, who needs to know that his Cargo is safe.

Cargo tells both these stories, seemingly separate, but inextricably linked by a fight to survive. A fight for the future.

Fri 12th/Sat 13th/Matinee Sat 13th April 2013

                                                At the SPACE Glasgow

34 Argyll Arcade Chambers, Buchanan Street, Glasgow, G2 8BD

Book tickets online at www.thespace-glasgow.com

More info about this show at www.corcor.co.uk

Leave a Comment

Filed under Theatre, Writing

JULIE BURCHILL (and Suzanne Moore) !!!

Suzanne Moore

Suzanne Moore

Last week I got involved in a twitter row between Suzanne Moore (a British journalist) and a feminist tweeter (Jo – a student – who has the eagerness of youth, which admittedly can grate) who objected to her essay on women’s anger including the idea that women are angry that they don’t have the perfect body, that of ‘a Brazilian transsexual’.

Suzanne reacted badly to the criticism and instead of crafting a logical yet polite slap-down (or ignoring it), after a few haughty exchanges, she ended up by tweeting ‘cut your dick off and be a better feminist than me’… which is bit hostile (and not even the point – since she wasn’t talking to a trans-feminist). This made many other tweeters wade in to insult her for being insulting.

It would have disappeared if only Suzanne would let it go, but she continued to tweet about it (leaving twitter, coming back to twitter, leaving twitter) and wrote a huffy article in The Guardian claiming she shouldn’t be ‘bullied’ on social media over throw-away zingers and the important thing is to have unity in the face of the economic cuts we’re all facing… Which sounded entirely reasonable until her tweets were published in the comments section and it became apparent she was using a national newspaper (injustice! unequal access to media!) to continue her fight with a student (although she was pretending it was a fight with trans-women – who she implied were really men, trying to stop a woman from speaking).

However pompous and foolish her article made her look – it still could’ve ended there.

But Julie Burchill (a mate) fired in with an article in Suzanne’s defense (in The Observer, but online it appeared to be part of The Guardian). Julie’s article was full of abuse (witty!) – most people who read it thought it was transphobic (shitty!) – and eventually The Observer withdrew it and promised to ‘learn lessons’.

In the fall out – we have Suzanne and her friends (mainly fellow journalists who should know better & some fading comedians who think they’re being censored in much the same way Jim Davidson thinks he was censored, as opposed to them not being funny any more) claiming that this is a FREEDOM OF SPEECH issue and that Suzanne has been ‘silenced’ and bullied for the crime of being BORN a girl.

And we have some radical feminists saying that they are being persecuted by a well-organized ‘trans cabal’ of men claiming to be women in order to invade female space and shout women down. And just like racists whine that they can’t discuss immigration – the transphobes bleat that they can’t discuss sex changes (as if this issue impacts on the rest of us in any tangible way).

In the other corner there are hurt and outraged trans-women. (Many report crying, and feeling ill and ‘triggered’ by this.) Who cannot believe that the press saw fit to misrepresent and slander them in this way. Next to them is everyone else who can’t believe a ‘liberal’ newspaper would print lies (Suzanne threw the first insult) and hate speech (the Julie Burchill diatribe included jibes like ‘chicks with dicks’ and ‘bed-wetters in bad wigs’).

And underlying that is the sheer weirdness of watching a long-established pundit like Suzanne Moore scattily self-destruct because she can’t cope with a ‘demand for intersectionality’ (jargon for accepting that people have many identities and one identity might raise their status, and one might lower it, and that has to be accounted for in debates about oppression… etc…) and because she can’t admit to being even slightly wrong and so would rather endlessly compound the thing she was pulled up about rather than say sorry and move on (or ignore it!!!!).

Suzanne has previous on this. She once wrongly claimed that Germaine Greer (whose ideas she constantly parrots, incidentally) had a hysterectomy at 25 to avoid having children. Germaine was upset because she always wanted children. And rather than say sorry, Suzanne callously said ‘Germaine’s womb is the centre of her universe, it isn’t for me’ (she also said transsexuals felt irrelevant to her). Which in print is pretty damning and unforgivable. To have so little solidarity with a fellow feminist that her fertility problems (which do cause intense suffering to many women) are of no account, even though she brought them up in an article, makes her look selfish and nasty.

Not that it matters in the long term. She is chip paper. We won’t be rushing to buy the collected works of Suzanne Moore.  She’s ’good’, not ‘great’. She can publish or not publish. We’ve not lost a William Hazlett and we won’t even gain a Liz Jones (who manages to be outrageous every time she types).

It’s the Julie Burchill fall from grace that’s either funny (if she gets away with it and comes back with something worth reading) or tragic (she’s lost it, it will stay lost, her talent is dead).

There were three fabulous things about Julie in her glory years (the 1980s), her fearless invective, her relentless mythologizing of both herself and her era (she could make sitting on a sofa eating chocolates sound LEGENDARY), and her championing of the ordinary against the hip in a hip way. She was the unpredictable voice of the counter-Zeitgeist.

This is where The Observer went wrong.

Julie would often insult gay men back in the 80s in much the same tone as she castigated and mocked trans-women, and this, then, was seen as iconoclastic. Mainly because she picked on posh or famous gay men or the rich people and pressure groups who flocked in the wake of Elizabeth Taylor to support the sometimes sanctimonious and hysterical AIDS lobby (which often worried more about ballet dancers than the millions of Africans also dying of the disease).

Ironically – due to the magic of intersectionality – Julie (working-class, lowly hack) was hitting up.

But there is no ‘trans-cabal’. Trans-women are rare among the rich, famous and posh. Trans-women are not a dominant group in government, law, medicine, or academia. There’s no trans pound to attract products and advertisers. There are a few trans-models in women’s fashion - but none of them come close to being as famous as Kate, Elle, Naomi, Linda… There are some trans-beauty pageants, but they’re about as prestigious as a reality t.v. show on the E! channel.

She was hitting down.

It’s disturbing that no one in The Observer could tell the difference before it was published. It’s sad that Julie herself has become so much of a bloated slug that the nuances she used to be so attuned to have deserted her. And it’s horrific that grown-up paid professionals think that huffing, bleating, threatening, and slagging should be taken from twitter and put into the broadsheets (at least pitch it to The Sun).

I hope Suzanne continues to be a (lovely) second-rater (but with less meltdowns and more awareness).

And I hope Julie will stop repeating herself as farce and will sharpen herself up for the third act of her meandering career.

She’s worth it.

(On a side note - male journalists get the same flack as female - but they tend to lie low or IGNORE it. Short of taking them to court there’s almost no chance of keeping the momentum of outrage going. Even Jan Moir or Liz Jones will let fury and derision roll over their columns like it never existed. In the end you have to let their shoddy world-views exist and hope their readers drop-off or their editor gets bored. We are defeated.

and in another side note – the hatred that second-wave feminists pour down on trans-womens’ heads often boils down to : by looking good and having sex with men, or making their wives live with them as friends, they’re coming over here and stealing our jobs. Which is quite hilarious when you think about it.)

Julie Burchill hard at it.

Julie Burchill hard at it.

Leave a Comment

Filed under Culture, Writing

Xmas Book Haul!

panopticon

As it turned out everyone who was buying me a present bought me a book (apart from the hairdryer… and a lindt bell).

So I have these to read for the next few weeks :

James Herbert, The Magic Cottage - horror!

Stella Gibbons, Christmas At Cold Comfort Farm - cosy/funny 1930s short stories

P.G. Wodehouse, Ice In The Bedroom – comedy theft

Joanne Harris, A Cat, a Hat and a Piece of String - short stories in mixed genres

Salley Vickers, The Cleaner of Chartres – mysterious past type thing

John Wyndham, The Kraken Wakes - sci-fi sea-monsters

P.D. James, Death Comes To Pemberley - Pride and Prejudice with Murders (sadly – a duplication – but I’ll read it again to review it)

Alan Bradley, I Am Half-Sick of Shadows - murder in the 1950s

Alan Garner, Boneland - fantasy

Adam Roberts, Jack Glass - sci-fi murder mystery

Jenni Fagan, The Panopticon - bohemian/literary/sci-fi-ish  (another duplication – but ditto).

I was also lucky enough to get The Lady of Shallot, the complete poems of William Empson and a non-fiction book on the rise of the Gentry.

But since I’m up to the eyeballs in novels – I’m going to try and post some reviews. Merry Christmas and a fabulous 2013.

JACK-GLASS-by-adam-roberts

Leave a Comment

Filed under Writing

Toe Dipped Back In Telly-Drama Water

Joan Hickson as Miss Marple - old school 80s drama.

Joan Hickson as Miss Marple – old school 80s drama.

I read lots of novels, I go to the cinema and the theatre, I have lots of DVDs of British dramas from the 70s and 80s written by greats like Alan Plater, Colin Welland, and Dennis Potter, I listen to radio dramas…  but I haven’t watched British television dramas on a regular basis since 1999 when the Reality T.V. boom began.

I don’t think the quality of t.v. drama dipped, I think its concerns stagnated. You still had black drug dealers, Jehovah’s Witness’s whose children needed blood transfusions and absolutely everyone had at least one speech in a concluding episode about being abused as a child.

Also a combination of Liberal melodrama, Marxist realism and fashionable nihilism had given serious drama a sort of blood libel feel. You wondered who killed Christ and who was going to get pogromed for it, if only we could work up the enthusiasm. Usually it was a police officer or a social worker.

And the cheerful trash was thrown for a loop by American dramas like E.R. Stoical British types joking over cups of tea in over-lit studio sets seemed old hat. The camera started to roam alarmingly. The lighting could be so dim you wouldn’t recognize your own mother, never mind Charlie from Casualty, and EMOTION became more important than plausibility.

None of which was as exciting as the high-stakes desperation of ordinary folk competing for attention – doomed to long-term failure – on intense social interaction-based game-shows and talent searches.

But Reality is dying (by which I mean I’m bored to death of it) and having been forced into watching slick US dramas from Lost to Homeland by my brother, I felt it was time to consciously start watching t.v. drama again.

There are some new norms to get used to. Digital has given everything a slightly distant look. Women very rarely get their boobs out (in the olden days if it was after 9 o’clock, there were definitely boobs on show). Action-adventure isn’t so much about lifestyle and consumption, it’s more about alienation and confusion. And there aren’t the same number of glamorous posh pundits on the telly discussing it.

Firstly I caught up with some of the output of BBC4 and BBC3. They’re quirky, so I like them the most.

BBC4 has decided to specialize in bio-pics of 60s and 70s light-entertainers and personalities. The bio-pics are very cheap, and hip-hop through the main events of the person’s life without quite making them real people, although they do capture a kind of sadness behind their happy showbiz personas. So far I’ve seen dramas about Fanny Craddock, Kenny Everett, Kenneth Williams and David Bailey. I’ve also seen a few BBC4 ghost stories for Christmas, and they’re as good as the classic M.R. James adaptations of the 60s and 70s. I especially loved Crooked House by Mark Gattis, a creepy anthology set in the one haunted location.

BBC3 led me to Funland, Catterick and Nighty-Night – all of which are brilliant dark comedies. The 90s and naughties were a golden age of dark comedy from Steve Coogan, through the League of Gentlemen to Julia Davies. Dark Comedy managed to do all the things drama couldn’t. They made well-rounded, flawed characters, caught in humdrum or outrageous dilemmas that defied conventional morality, and told us about the human condition. I also watched ‘Casanova’ with David Tennant. It clattered along nicely, the acting was great, but it did suffer from the entirely modern naffness of having a character spell out to another character what the subtext of their emotional involvement is… eg. ‘You’re only interested in me because I represent what you lost when your mother dropped you down a well as a baby’ (I made that up)… I blame this on ‘The Hero’s Journey’. Writer’s are far too knowing about archetypes and story arcs, and are possibly flagging them up to a producer “I’m not just wittering on, I’m MYTHIC!!!”.

Which is the main horror of BBC1′s New Doctor Who. Bits of it are brilliant. The pace, the characters… and bits of it are terrible. The villains, the plots, the milking of emotions, the relentless musical score, the turning of the Doctor into the Messiah, the bombastic direction that can make cheese out of good plot points. Every episode is marred by some sickeningly sentimental intrusion, and the Imperialism of it (I’m the Doctor and what I say goes) is incredibly simplistic and crass. But perhaps it reflects the mood of authority. The re-assertion of the right (and need) to impose and reject, and I’m just being nostalgic for the days when the Doctor battled green-painted bubble-wrap and took Intergalactic Enlightenment Principles for granted.

Robin Hood and Merlin have passed me by. But I did enjoy catching the trailers.

The backbone of the BBC schedule, things like Eastenders and Casualty and Holby City are settling down after that horrifying genre shift from basically social realism with melodramatic touches to basically melodrama with humorous touches. It was like watching ‘The Thing’ morph from dog, to alien, to plant pot – but it’s all fine now. Surgeons can slump crying to the theatre floor and you don’t wonder why they keep their jobs.

Call The Midwife is snuggly. The Secret of Crickley Hall made me cry. Both prove that cliches can work if you’re sincere enough about them. Sherlock is fabulous – apart from Sherlock taking two seconds to infiltrate a middle-eastern terrorist organization and save a crook he fancies from a beheading, and the old dancing around to classical music while executing some bit of action shtick which should never under any circumstances be stolen from Stanley Kubrick but constantly is. But two duff moments in two series’ is practically no duff moments at all.

And on the 23rd of December 2012 I watched ‘Mr Stink’ and ‘Loving Miss Hatto’ and I loved them both. New drama, for Christmas, that worked and was a treat. Like it’s 1972 again.

I’ve never entirely given up ITV dramas – mainly because I’m a Paul McGann fan and he’s always turning up as the potential murderer in something. I liked Midsommer Murders till the ‘keeping it white’ debacle and now I don’t even watch the repeats. Which is a shame because I thought it was a gentle satire not the last bastion of the National Front. But once you’ve been made suspicious of something, it’s impossible to go back.

What I truly love though is ITV crime dramas, the ones with two or three parts, where nice middle-class people look pensive and sad while the suspense ratchets up around them. The two most recent were ‘The Poison Tree’ – a kind of sub-Ruth Rendell about a man going to prison for his sister and then his wife killing his sister so she couldn’t take him away from her – and ‘The Town’ about a man returning home to find out why his parents committed suicide.

The Poison Tree worked the best. It was ridiculous but glamourous, and knew exactly what it was up to. The Town was probably meant to be more serious. Perhaps even an examination of contempory England through the medium of brooding close-ups. But it didn’t quite work. The set-ups were shoddy. Who goes into a florist to get a dress adjusted? The sub-plots weren’t needed. The milliu was ridiculous but unglamourous. And Martin Clunes is too big a name to have nothing to do without it being obvious he’s the villain.

It might have found a happier home on Channel 4. Channel 4 has a niche for derancinated lower classers – from Shameless to This Is England. A sort of Stephen Frears, Derek Jarman sensibility. Gritty realism with Cathoic lushness. Their political thriller The Secret State was a bit too flashy, but I still enjoyed it. Teen soap Hollyoaks is still the British Beverly Hills 90210, but with sex and more shouting. Of all the soaps it’s my favourite. Maybe because youths really do have daily dramas in a way that most adults don’t. Not getting a like on facebook can cause a meltdown, without you nessesarily having mental issues.

I still wish t.v. would do more films and single dramas. I’m not loyal. I have the brain of a grass-hopper. I rely on box-sets. And I pray we don’t get too many Downton Abbey clones. It’s enough flouncy fun for one tiny nation. I also worry about who will do romping adaptations once Andrew Davies is gone. T.V. needs to start training. And Sky may be a channel to watch. It’s got subscribers and it needs prestige. Future gems may come from odder stations. Odd to me (I’m an 80s child).

So Farewell X-Factor, Hello Sally Wainwright. *

(*writer of ‘Last Tango In Halifax’).

Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch in Sherlock - new school 10s drama.

Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch in Sherlock – new school 10s drama.

1 Comment

Filed under Film & T.V.