The UK celebrity pensioner sex scandal is still hurtling to its infinite endgame… and the latest (possible) pre-lag in the limelight is Cliff Richard – the English Elvis, the non-American Peter Pan of Pop.

His Berkshire flat has been raided by the police. Cliff was in Portugal and knew nothing about it but the BBC was there filming live and his agent saw it on the rolling-news.

The police are now in trouble for tipping-off the BBC and the BBC are in trouble for their coverage… Unless this is just Elite common decency it either means that Cliff is well-beloved and no pundit believes he could be guilty or he’s the kingpin that could bring down the entire alleged Establishment abuse ring.

As I spend my life steeped in internet gossip – and before that I was steeped in Anarchist conspiracy theories – I’ve been hearing about his alleged perversions for over 20 years – so I don’t really understand why anyone is bothered about it being out in the open. People are perfectly capable of enjoying the tabloid melodrama sincerely while equally thinking that it’s all lies. His image is in trouble – his career might suffer – he might lose his mind under the pressure of a rapidly changing image and a quaking career – but as a person he’s innocent until he’s been banged up so long we forget he was ever free. Or he’s been horribly wronged and the nation will be outraged (while loving every last disgusting second). That’s how showbiz works.

I hope he’s not guilty… He was great as a teen star… he’s been naffly harmless (albeit with a reactionary 1970s Christian-based blip) since about 1965… and well – who would want any of this horror to be truly true when you could listen to his 1950s songs instead?


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